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Posts Tagged ‘marriages’

Memories are the invisible bond that keeps people linked for life no matter where they are or what they are doing. When you think back over your life and you contemplate everything that has happened to you and the people that you have known, you are actually looking at the photo album of the mind. Some memories are good and some are not so good. Almost all memories will evoke an emotional response, even a small one, like nostalgia, which is kind of like a feeling of fondness for a moment lost and a longing to somehow regain the experience of it. The strongest of these types of memories will usually fall on moments of extreme happiness or joy, like the birth of a child or other celebration of life. None of these will ever compare, however, to the day that you came together with the person to whom you have been subconsciously waiting for all you life. The man or woman you marry.

People are born into this world as solitary souls that need other people. We are alone inside a shell of flesh and bones and organs yet this is not who we are. Even though we are born alone, every one of us is only half of who we were meant to be. The other half of our being is somewhere else, wandering this world looking for their completion. When we meet this person, which we are apt to do because we are constantly sending out a psychic signal drawing them to us, we know in our hearts that we have found them and we want to be with this person for life because when we are with them, we are who we were supposed to be.

The marriage of two souls in love is the ritual that completes the cycle. It bonds us to our other half and makes us complete. With a cosmic event of this magnitude, it is no wonder that we are drawn to make it a special and memorable event. We have dreamed of this day all our lives and we want to make it special. A wedding is the perfect ceremony to make that happen and as people we have developed this ritual knowing that it will be treasured as the most emotional experience of our lives. It is for this reason that we go to such great lengths to make it perfect and even though it rarely goes as planned, we always remember it as being the perfect day.

Wedding planning has evolved into a wonderful and rare time when we get to sit down and create a memory. It is one of the few events in our life that we have almost complete control. We meticulously plan each moment and take the steps necessary to make it perfect. From the food and the flowers to the place and the time, we try to do everything the way we have envisioned it. Even the wedding favors need to be perfect. We want those that attend to experience that as well. It is a great idea when honoring our guests with a preview of our happiness to provide them with photo album favors and wedding cameras so that they can make our day a small part of their nostalgic memories as well.

On the day that you are married to the person that completes your life in the way only they can, everything seems surreal and dream-like. It is almost as if our minds are slowing down time so that we can experience it in a unique and wonderful way. In that moment when you are pronounced man and wife, you can feel a small change inside of you. It is almost as if somewhere in the darkness of your solitary self, some unseen force has reached out and flipped a happiness switch that lights up your life and makes your heart want to sing the songs that it has kept hidden from you. These are songs that you never knew but have held inside of you all your life. They are songs of the heart that tell you that you are now complete. If you are lucky, you will hear these songs in your lifetime.

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In 1549, the “Book of Common Prayer” was published and the first wedding vows were introduced to the world but before then, and until they were commonly recognized as part of a ceremony, the father and the groom would meet and agree that his daughter would be the “groom’s” wife. This was usually accompanied by an agreement of services provided by the groom and a small dowry provided by the bride’s father. The wealthy lords and ladies of the day would put the agreement into a legal document to make it seem official and would hold a ball or party to make it official. This was the era where the first vows and the first marriage licenses came into play.

The ceremony and prayer went something like this. While the wealthy usually had a prominent church elder ordinate, the poorer class of people would have the local dicker or other minor clergyman present the groom to the bride and remind them that they were speaking publicly and before God and after a reading from the then accepted matrimonial verse from the Bible, the groom would say,

“I blank, take thee, blank, to be my wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance.”

Then the Bride would return with, I, blank, take thee, blank, to be my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer of for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance.

This liturgy and variations of it and many other parts of today’s ceremony have endured through quite a few attempts to change it and in some instances, strike it from the vows altogether for something less biblical. The church always succeeded with the voice of the people behind it, keeping these sacred vows as popular today as they ever were. The only exception to this stand came in 1922 when the loud voice of the female population forced the Episcopal Church leaders to vote on whether to remove the word “obey” from the rite. The vote passed overwhelmingly with just of a few of the church’s oldest and more strict elders voting to keep it intact. Even if it had not passed back then, it is not very likely that the word would still be in the ceremony as now even most men agree that it is not a necessary or functional part of the wedding ideal. The phrase, “to love, honor, and obey” has since been replaced with, “to love, honor and cherish.” This is also in line with some scholars who argue that the translation involved in the original ceremony may have been inaccurate or at the very least, miscopied into the text.

The vows were almost always followed by the Ring bearer presenting the groom with the Ring Bearer Pillow so that he could bring the ceremony towards it happy conclusion and symbolize the union with the completed circle that the ring represents. The rings in today’s ceremony are kept by the best man and the ring bearer, when used, often carries inexpensive rings for symbolic reasons. In the modern world we live in, it is not uncommon for couples to add their own vows, writing to each other their thoughts and feelings and expressing their love for one another in their own words. While this adds a personal touch to the ceremony and also adds additional meaning to the emotions of the moment, the original vows are regarded as the most beautiful and popular in the world and will always be there for people to hear and enjoy on their special day.

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Weddings are expensive and there is no way around that fact. If you plan to have a traditional wedding with everything that goes with it, you have to be prepared to confront the final bill with fortitude and a glass of whiskey never hurt either. There are just so many aspects of a wedding that have to be paid for and tradition recently indicated that they are divided between the bride’s family, the groom’s family, and the groom himself. Over are the days where the bride’s family pays for everything right down to the finest detail. For a short period, tradition had shifted this responsibility to the three parties just mentioned as follows. The bride’s parents paid for the wedding, the reception, and the ever-popular brunch. They also were expected to foot the bill for the grooms ring and the engagement party. They paid for all the minor details, personalized wedding favors, personalized favor boxes, table settings, food caterers and all the little yet expensive things that go into the making of a beautiful wedding.

The groom’s folks traditionally paid for the officiant, the license, and the rehearsal expenses, including rehearsal dinner. While the groom himself covered the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the honeymoon, which he also plans and pays for the travel agent fees, if there is one involved. This set of unspoken rules went unchallenged for many years and then, almost magically, everything changed.

No one really knows how traditions evolve, they just do. To the creative mind, images of a wizened old wizard sitting atop a stone tower at the top of the world’s largest mountain spring to mind. He sits in his white robe stroking his long white beard and surveys the world’s weddings to be with a look of deep concern. After a while, he dips his quill into the inkwell and begins to write on a long piece of parchment that has long since scrolled down to his lap, off onto the floor and lays in one long tangles pile all around him.

Of course, traditions are not that mystical. They are, however, mysteriously moved about the world and word of mouth just does not seem a feasible enough of an explanation. The internet hasn’t been around long enough to explain it either. Traditions like this have been changing this way long before you could reach billions of people by turning on your computer and using great keyword optimization techniques. Be that as it may, the wedding expenses no longer have to be divided up in this manner. Somehow, almost overnight, it was decided that it is okay for the bride and groom to either pay for it all themselves or to hold a family meeting and seek advice and monetary aid.

Years ago, doing this would have been an affront not only to the bride’s family, who used to pay for it all, but also to the groom’s family who are forbidden to pay even though they want to. Instead, families expect to be involved in the finance process and are eager to pitch in. Another option that couples are now considering is financing the entire affair through their credit card companies and while I am sure that the banks are ecstatic about this idea catching on, most experts agree that starting your wedding in a financial bind is not a very wise decision. Unfortunately, in today’s economy, this is not only a viable choice; many times, it is the only way that a couple could tie the knot in the way of which they have always dreamed. No matter how you pay for your dream wedding, know that tradition now allows for families splitting the bill in almost any way they can.

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In 1604, the word Bridegroom came into being for the need to call a man about to be married something other than, “the poor soul,” or, “the doomed one.” The word is derived from two words, The “Bride” which simply means the woman about to be married and in some dominantly male run countries, the bride means, a screaming, and slave-driving banshee from the pits of Hades itself, and the word “Guma” which is roughly translated from old English as “boy.” The bridegroom, on the day of his wedding, usually wore clothing specific to the type of religion, the time of the day, or the uniform of whatever branch of service or position he held with a government status. We have since shortened the word to the simple “groom,” which is what many bachelors believe any man would have to be to get married.

In those days, it was not uncommon for the groom to have the final say in matters of the ceremony, especially as to where and when it would be held and who would be the Celebrant. The Celebrant is someone other than clergy or government official who is licensed to perform ceremonies if the couple or party wishes not to involve church or state. This person is now more commonly referred to as the officiant and can perform many types of ceremonies, including weddings. The groom and the bride’s father would usually hammer out the details of the wedding and then inform the rest of the family.

The word Teutonic, which translates as “cook” is believed to be the origin of the word “Bride,” although that has been hotly debated by, you guessed it, women around the world as not being the origin of the word. Many women feel the word, Bride, actually came from the words, “Beauty,” and, “Iconic.” But that could be simple hearsay. Almost every culture has elaborate and beautiful wedding apparel that the bride is required to wear on her wedding day during the ceremony and in some cultures; there is specific clothing that she is required to wear for a set number of days after. In this country however, after the wedding, the bride is required to wear nothing at all.

Today, the bride and the shortened and more accepted form of the original, the groom, have the option of planning their own wedding or even hiring someone to do this planning for them under their close supervision. This person, known as an event planner or more specifically, a wedding planner is a special type of person who is genetically grown in a test tube for the sole purpose of saving young couples a ton of money, and to prevent them from making terribly time-consuming mistakes while planning for their nuptials. These planners are grown with built in wedding planning technology and can actually produce wedding favors or unique wedding favors from some secret place in their bodies which also saves the couple a ton of money. The laboratories that make these super-planners are called Planners-R-Us and cannot be found anywhere due to the secrecy of their technology. The only thing that is really known about the company is that it has more than quadrupled its output of wedding planners and is also coming out with a new line of divorce negotiators. It is hoped by the stockholders that this super-negotiation technology will make divorce lawyers obsolete by the year 2020.

Wedding planners are easy to find by looking in your local phone book or typing wedding planners, followed by the name of your city and state, into any search engine. It has been rumored that the divorce negotiators can be found by hanging a white business shirt with lipstick on the collar from any open window.

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You are planning a wedding and you need some ideas that will make it special and unique but you do not know where to look. Well, if you are looking for ways to make your wedding unique, it will not be unique. In order for you to do something special you only have to look at your heart and what it tells you. Find your inspiration from within and if that does not work, try these ideas on for size and maybe you will be inspired. It is the little things that will make your wedding experience different because it is the little things that people notice the most. A good for instance would be to add little tags everywhere your guest will look that have poems or declarations of love. Even love song titles will stick in your guest’s minds and remind them of how special this occasion really is.

Another quaint but original idea is to write your own wedding song. If you have no writing skills do not worry, every family has someone who can write and if not, an add in your local newspaper is sure to bring plenty of hits. If you have hired live entertainment for your wedding, there is a good chance that they will help you write the music to your lyrics and may even coach you and the groom on how to sing the melody. Then, when the music is moving everyone to the dance floor, you and your new partner can get on stage, announce that you have written a very special song, and want to share it. If this is done right, there will not be a dry eye in the house and everyone will know how much you really love each other.

There are many ways to make your wedding day special for yourself and your spouse, the challenge will be to make it a completely new and unique experience for your guests. This is where your wedding favors can come into play. There are hundreds of wedding accessory internet stores but only a handful of truly unique wedding favor specific sites that will have something that totally turns you on. Find these sites and you will be in business. These few sites will be dedicated solely to wedding favors and will have beautiful gifts that you can get at affordable prices. With that in mind, think of what theme your wedding is in because that is the kind of unique wedding favor you want to go with. If the guests remember the theme, they will remember more detail about the wedding and reception.

A gift of candle wedding favors and elegant wedding favors like crystal, porcelain, and glass are among some of the most popular and yet still unique favors that you will find and they come in so many brilliant and startling colors and designs that these favors are sure to be a success. Wedding favors are not the only thing that can be presented in a new and memory jogging way. You have plenty of options when it comes to food and drink. You might think about serving exotic dishes to go along with that exotic theme. If you are having your wedding or the reception on a beach, everyone will be expecting seafood, which is one of the best foods with which to be creative.

Imagine your guests surprise when you serve those Alligator or shark. Instead of filling their plate with cod and hiding the long john silver boxes in the dumpster down the beach, hire a Cajun cook who really knows his way around a crawdad or frog leg.

Regardless of the menu or the guests gifts, you can come up with many ways to make your wedding a one of a kind event if you just look in your heart and let your love and inspiration flow.

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The food catering business is more complicated than one might expect. There are several tasks involved that include more than cooking a meal, large or small and delivering it to a person or function. The technical equipment caterers now utilize are just as advanced, and in many cases, more advance that those in a modern restaurant kitchen. When people think of caterers or of going into the catering business, they think about cooking and smiling in their kitchen with their happy go lucky apron tied around their waist but nothing could be further from the truth. The facts are that catering is an almost around the clock job that has a high level of stress.

First of all, if you want to compete in the food catering business, you have to be able to prepare, set-up, and serve a large number of people and all the inherent problems that go with it. Weddings are one of the caterers biggest customer base and are very difficult to serve. While the wedding couple is deciding whether to provide the guests with bath wedding favors or soap wedding favors, the caterer is providing a five-course meal that is five star restaurant quality and will be just as tasty and fresh for the late comer as it was for the first person served.

One of the reasons food catering is so stressful is the extremely important deadlines they must meet in order to preserve the integrity of their business and the function. It the timing is off by even a half of an hour it could throw a wedding with two hundred plus guests completely out of whack. A caterer’s bread and butter come from word of mouth advertising. This means that a level of perfection and professionalism has to be maintained constantly. There is absolutely zero room for error. When you have hundreds of people waiting to be served at an exact time at a remote location there is little room for mistakes or delays. The food and the service, and the timing, needs to be perfect.

One of the traits I have always admired in a professional food service is the ability to transport a huge amount of food in a very small and economical amount of space and time. The food caterer’s truck is an amazing display of organization and space utilization that would make a jigsaw puzzle maker envious. There is also a specific technique involved in the way the truck is loaded and unloaded. I found this out one day by watching a caterer deliver the food to a huge wedding of over one hundred people. She pulled up to the service entrance and it was my job as one of the ushers and general groom helper to aide the caterer and give them help in whatever they needed.

As she backed up the van and started unloading her equipment I asked her where she wanted the rest of the trucks to park as they waited their turn to back up and unload. She looked at me rather amused and asked to what other trucks I was referring. When she carried a rather puzzling piece of equipment into the building, I jumped into the back of the van and tried to figure out what I could carry in for her. When she came out, I thought she would have a duck, right there by the church service door. To my surprise, she remained calm and told me that she required no assistance but I was more than welcome to watch and hold the doors for her. She then preceded to carry, roll, and two-wheel-jack a variety of food and food transport and heating machines and tables. When she was done, I could not figure out how all of that foldable, hinged, and stainless steel machinery could have ever fit in the back of that van, much less the amount of food she brought with her and served. I was and still am completely amazed at how professional and compact her operation is and I vowed that I would never consider going into that business.

Food catering is an amazing job and requires skill and organization that one must be born with and I will always appreciate the people who have the fortitude to be in that profession.

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Are you planning a wedding and getting ready to tie the knot? Many people find themselves becoming a little bit blue before the big day arrives. It is okay because it is only natural to get a little overwhelmed at the prospect of a big day on the horizon, especially if you have living and dreaming it, and spending the better part of everyday planning for it. It was a big decision to begin with and it is only getting bigger as the days pass. You are probably not the only one going through it right now. Chances are, there are a couple of million grooms and brides to be swelling on it right now, including yours. While it is okay to be experiencing some anxiety, there are a few steps you can take to lessen the severity of it and get yourself back on the right track and into the right frame of mind.

To begin with, a body that is low on nutrients is prone to make the mind a little low on positive energy anyway. The first thing you should consider, believe it or not, is your diet. Are you getting enough to eat? If you are, are you getting enough of the right kinds of foods? Certain foods keep the mind strong, alert, and more aware of the feelings that it is processing, keeping you running in a good frame of mind. Foods like fruits, vegetables and the right carbohydrates will help you maintain a healthier attitude and a fresh perspective on things. If all you are eating is junk food then all you are thinking is junk thoughts. Try to eat healthier and make sure you have a good, wholesome breakfast each morning so that you will have a head start on your days.

Exercise regularly, even if it is just a good healthy walk everyday. Plenty of exercise will help your body process all that good food you are eating and you will get plenty of fresh air while you are at it. Aerobics or some other kind of cardio to keep your heart and lungs working at peak performance will go a long way to keeping your head clear, you energy level steady, and your mood up. It may be difficult at first, especially if you are out of shape but it won’t take long to start feeling it. Just make sure you are eating right and drop in on your doctor before you go too far to make sure you are healthy enough to try whatever exercise and diet program you have chosen for yourself. The best advice here is don’t over do it. Too much of a good thing that you are not prepared for can be a bad thing.

Think good thoughts. Focus on the positive aspects of what you are doing, not only in preparation of the big day but on every day concerns as well. Always try to find something good on any situation. No matter how bad something seems at the time, you can always put a good spin on it if you are creative enough. Even being stuck in traffic has to have a positive point, if nothing more that it gives you a little extra time to collect yourself for where ever it is that you are going. By seeing some good in all situations, you are training yourself to find the brighter side of everything. Good mental habits are just as important as any other good habit.

Try to keep in mind the reasons you got into the proposed marriage and all the good and wonderful things that go with it and everything should be fine. Continue to occupy your mind with the wedding plans and enjoy the process. Focus on other people and their needs and do things that will help them. Check your guest list or think about the bridesmaids gifts and maid of honor gifts. When the big day finally does arrive, remember to breathe!

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Everyone knows how expensive weddings can be, especially if you are planning the wedding of your dreams. When you are on a budget, it is hard to find ways to cut back and stay within the guidelines of you pocketbook, but there are ways to keep that bottom line a little leaner that it could be. There are always little obvious shortcuts that we miss because we are too close to the planning. It is like that old adage where you cannot see the tree because of the forest. When you are in the wedding planning trenches, it is so easy to become bogged down in tiny details that you miss opportunities to trim the fat without sacrificing the eloquence and beauty that you deserve. Even the smallest things like saving money by giving glass-wedding favors instead of crystal wedding favors can get in the way of saving hundreds of dollars on some other detail you have missed. Here are a few simple ways to trim a few dollars off your wedding budget and get into the groove.

Hold your wedding on a Wednesday or Thursday. The reason for this is that wedding halls, hotels, and other facilities charge more on the weekends then they do during the workweek. You could save a pretty good amount by negotiating a great weekday rate for you and your guests. Just remember that just because you have negotiated a price you have to take the rooms. That just isn’t true. Keep your negotiations and your actual purchases separate so that you can negotiate with more than one location, then, when all the bids are on the table, pick the one that is most suited to your needs. Make sure you have it at a great rate but also a great location and the services that they provide. It is okay to pay a little more if it suits your needs and is still a reduced rate.

Another little tip for saving a few bucks is saving the toasts. Proper etiquette only calls for three toasts, the father of the bride, the groom, and the best man. Once those toasts are out of the way, make an announcement of move the festivities forward. You will be surprised how much time and money you can save if every long-winder Uncle, brother, or nephew misses the change to toast for the sake of hearing himself or herself speak or even honest well wishing. You can also hold the good champagne until it is time to toast or better yet, save it for cutting the cake. In the meantime, serve the less expensive wine spritzer or sparkling chilled wine.

A great DJ is better than a good wedding band any day of the week. Instead of trying to save money by hiring a less than great band, hire a great DJ instead. These professionals really know how to get a party jumping or slow it down to just the right pace. Many DJ’s have started producing sets that are wedding specific and you can find them just a readily as a wedding band if you know to look for them. If not, there are plenty of clubs, probably near you, that have a DJ play at least a few nights a week if not full time. They are more than willing to talk to you about hosting your wedding and can save you hundreds of dollars.

These are just a few ideas to get your creative, money saving juices flowing. Now that you have, I’d bet you can think of many unique ways to keep that wedding under budget and still have the day of your dreams.

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A word to the wise, always shop around, even if you are pleased with the first food caterer you find, when it comes to your wedding you really need to do some shopping to ensure the very best price for the very best service. Here are just a few of the charges you can expect from many of the food catering companies that service weddings.

The dreaded carving station charge. That is right, if you serve roast beef or anything else that has to be carved off the carcass of any dead animal, then you will be paying for a carving station. This is the part of the serving line that carves the cut of meat your guest will be consuming. As human beings, the ratio of meat eaters to vegetarians is approximately ten thousand to one so be prepared to serve meat. Caterers charge $2.00 to $3.00 more per head to any function that serves carved meat. To their credit, they will try to talk you out of serving anything that needs to be carved on the spot if they think it will hurt your budget, (you can’t afford it) and will go to great lengths to offer alternatives.

Many people do not realize that besides the food and miscellaneous charges, like the carving station, the cook or chef receives $30.00 per hour. This is included in the final tab minus gratuity. Tipping is optional but once you have seen these professionals in action, you will probably want to tip. These chefs are amazing at what they do an d how they contribute to the success of your wedding reception.

Bar service is an extremely expensive part of your wedding budget. This statement is sad, but true. Prices rarely go down but very often go up and unless you are willing to serve everyone yourself, be prepared to pay $25.00 bucks per hour for the bartender. Another $22.50 per hour if you hire a server to run drinks to the guests who prefer to remain seated. This, on top of the bar tab and set up fees will be a HUGE part of your budget. (18% off the top, of course)

You can cater your wedding to include an appetizer, a main course, plus a salad and dessert for a reasonable amount of money, however, when you add hors d oeuvres, the price per head starts going up. A simple meal with a salad/soup combo may be sufficient for your needs depending on your guests and what you would deem to be suitable venue. For the record, chicken is still one of the least expensive and tastiest ways to go.

These were just a few of the charges you can expect to see when planning your wedding. There are many, many small charges that add up to one great big bill. Even your wedding favors can be expensive so rather than go with glass or crystal, try some really neat coffee and tea wedding favors or chocolate wedding favors. There are many small shortcuts you can take to keep that wedding from growing out of proportion and out of your budget. Especially if you have family members who have the special talents you need and are willing to work for less than you would pay an outside professional. Trying to save a few bucks does not make you cheap, it makes you smart!

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Chances are that if you are having a big wedding you are going to have a very diverse age group representing several generations of your families. This means that no matter what type of music you chose, someone is going to be left out or possibly even insulted should you have an acid rock or rap wedding. It is not like picking out the wedding favors where is does not matter to any age group whether they receive golf wedding favors or beach wedding favors. There is an old saying you can’t please all the people all the time and that holds particularly true when picking out the music for your wedding. There are things you can do, however, to minimize the damage. Here are a few ideas that might make your musical montage more palatable for everyone.

The most obvious form of damage control would be to have a Christmas wedding, that way, you can have all seasonal music, and everyone is happy. That, unfortunately, is the only time you will be able to please everyone, or at least, not insult one group over the other. If you would rather not have a seasonal wedding, try to go with a band that can play many types of music spanning many different decades. this way, everyone will hear a little bit of what they enjoy the most, their era’s music. Grandma can get up and boogie while a little later, uncle Ned can get down and get funky. Sometimes you will find an old standard that crosses all barriers and everyone can shake that bootie, although that will not happen very often.

Some forms of music are less irritating to those that do not like it than others. For instance, if you do not like punk rock, as a general rule, you will hate all punk rock. On the other hand, country music offers something that most people will enjoy and with which are probably familiar. Who can resist getting up for a little line dancing? It is easy to do and it even looks like a lot of fun. The problem is, no matter how careful you are, you will not find a music country music set that has nothing but line dancing and barrier crossing standards. So again, you are facing the same problem of not having something for everyone and nothing for someone. I was going to mention that you could present cultural music but the thought of a all Latin music wedding is too tiring and Congo drums are just not my style.

The closest you will ever come to finding a solution to this minor but irritating dilemma will be to hire a DJ. The Disc Jockey can play the widest variety of music than any other venue and if you do a little bit of research and know your way around Ebay, you can find many of your guests favorite songs or albums and let as many people as you can get something of what they want to boogie to during your happy day.

Whatever you decide to do for music at your wedding, try to remember that it is your wedding and the most important person you have to please is yourself so if you like grunge and grandma is hard of hearing, swipe her hearing aide and have yourself a ball.

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