Posts Tagged ‘wedding vows’
Including Little Ones At A Wedding
Your marriage celebration and reception can be fun and exciting. When you include kids in your wedding, some wonderful things can happen. They may be included in all kinds of activities, special service, as Junior attendants, flower girls, ring bearer, or as guests.
Yes, children can be a pain. They can yell and scream and wiggle and fuss and on and on. kids who are expected to behave as adults have a big challenge and often become problems.
Ok, let us presume you are going to include little ones at least as guests to your wedding. What do you do with them?
Choice : Separate and Isolate. It is often quite easy to set up a separate room for infants, toddlers, and small children. You can recruit someone to take charge of the kids and care for them while their parents are participating in the wedding. Still, some parents will insist on keeping their babies with them.
Guide little ones into doing age appropriate things that are fun and engaging. Busy kids are content children. Remember, trouble comes when kids do not know what to do with themselves.
Consider a spectacular children’s event like a magic show, carnival, or guest entertainer. You can turn babysitting into a real event. The kids will always remember it. Of course, kids will get along fine with normal play time activities, but you might just make a big impact with your own spectacular children’s event.
A blended family may find it especially meaningful to include the children in responding to the pledges by adding an appropriate set of questions to the parents and then to the children. The children respond “I do”.
In the same way, couples with kids can use special event vows that include children. It is very easy for the Minister or couple to compose a few added lines of promise and commitment to the special event ceremony in which the little ones can repeat their commitments to the family.
The marriage celebration reception is a great place to involve children. Yes, some precautions may need to be made to protect them from inappropriate adult behaviors, but the reception should be a fun time. You may provide added supports for smaller kids like special coloring books and crayons on the table. You can also include children in the activities even the dancing. Think about a “child only” dance. Let the children take center stage. Everyone will love it. Make it a family event.
The key to including children is to include them. Nobody wants to be lift out, pushed aside, or ignored – not even children. Give them special duties and they will love every minute. Ask yourself, “What could the kids do to help?” The possibilities are huge if you give it some thought: errands, greeting, distribution, decorating
You may be caught completely off guard. You may not be expecting kids at your wedding. Then to your surprise, here comes a guest with two little kids in tow. What do you do? First, do not panic. Do not get upset. Relax. Parents should not bring kids unless they expect to care for the little ones themselves, however, it is a good idea to quietly ask one of your ushers to remain attentive to offer assistance as needed.
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Your Wedding Minister Makes The Difference
What makes the right wedding minister for your wedding? What qualifications do you want in your wedding minister?
Like any other professional, they are not all equal. There are clunkers, normal, and super star wedding ministers. Wedding ministers have personal characteristics that may be attractive or objectionable. Consider your wedding minister candidates. Look for qualities of professionalism, public speaking skills, sensitivity, listening, flexibility, and their priorities.
What does it matter? Anybody can perform a wedding, right? Maybe not.
Before you agree to employ a wedding minister, be sure they are fully authorized by your state. Some states have very restrictive rules on who may perform wedding, and you want to be sure.
What kind of wedding minister do you want? In most cases, the wedding minister represents a particular set of traditions, values, and teachings. If you are a Roman Catholic, you will probably prefer a Catholic Priest to officiate your wedding. If you are a Christian, a Christian minister may be desired. If you grew up as a Baptist, look for a Baptist minister. Avoid wedding minister who represent traditions and values that are in significant conflict with your own. The messages communicated by your wedding minister will reflect his background and allegiances.
To give order and familiarity, some ministers rigidly hold to pre written ceremonies. While this can leave the impression of a staid ceremony, the capable wedding minister can make the ceremony run smoothly and provide a meaningful service.
Or, you may want a minister who is highly flexible and willing to work with you. You may want a minister who encourages your creativity so your wedding ceremony can be truly personal.
In any case, your wedding minister is vital to a successful wedding ceremony. He can make or break your wedding. Not only does he talk, he is in charge. The wedding minister is responsible for organizing, managing, and facilitating your ceremony.
In a perfect world, the marriage and family values are communicated by your wedding minister in ways that are both meaningful and helpful. He is responsible to society and his religious traditions, but he should also express you’re the values to which you are committing yourselves. Use him as a resource to help you understand your commitments. Look to him for guidance and encouragement.
If you want a beautiful formal wedding, you will want a wedding minister with the professionalism and dignity to make it happen for you. If you want a more relaxed or informal wedding, you will want a wedding minister who helps people relax, perhaps adds a touch of informality or humor, and generally helps people feel good about themselves without rigid formalism.
Ultimately, you are in charge. You choose the wedding minister that will help you achieve your dream wedding. He manages the legalities, the traditions, and the coordination; but he does so in cooperation with the wedding couple. Together you can achieve the kind of wedding you really want with as much personalization as you wish.
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Understanding Your Wedding Vows
A bride stands beside her groom gazing into each other’s eyes. The minister instructs them one at a time, “Repeat after me.” The groom repeats his Christian Special Event Vows and affirms his Christian pledges. The bride repeats her Special Event Christian Vows and affirms her Christian pledges. They may exchange rings, and the minister pronounces them to be husband and wife. This is the essence of a Christian wedding.
What exactly are Christian Nuptial Vows? These promises exchanged during the Weddingare considered Christian Special Event vows, but why? What makes the peculiarly Christian Nuptial Vows?
These Christian Wedding Commitments express promises from between the bride and groom which form the basis of their marriage relationship. If they are officiated over by an ordained Christian minister, then perhaps that would make them Christian WeddingVows, but there is more than that.
The history behind Christian Nuptial Vows is quite interesting. A quick glance at American History reveals the dominance of the Church of England or Episcopal Church as it came to be known. The structure and format of Christian Wedding Promises can be traced back to these religious traditions regardless of their contemporary variations.
Christian Special Event Promises then are promises made between couples that express the values and traditions of Christian churches of all different denominations including the Roman Catholic Church. Many churches, however, developed their own official versions reflective of their special traditions. For example you will find specific Methodist, Baptist, Catholic, or other denominational versions, but they may all be described as Christian Nuptial Vows.
The meaning of Christian Wedding Commitments focuses on the nature of marriage and the marriage relationship as described and defined in the Bible. These values and views emphasize the differences and similarities in the roles as well as the guiding principles that assure successful relationships.
This principles and values taught in the Bible are fundamental to the nature of marriage and emerge from this focuses Biblical view of marriage. It begins with man. God made him to be like Him. He implanted in man the creativity, the intellect, the will, and the responsibility to rule the world and take responsibility for causing the world to prosper, replenish, and develop. When God performed the first Special Event by joining Adam and Eve, he charges Adam with responsibility to lead, protect, provide for, and nurture his wife.
Protector, provider, and leader are the three most common words used to describe this appropriate role for the husband. He pledges to sacrifice his own interests in order to fulfill his responsibilities and obligations as a husband.
Then God made Eve from the side of Adam. The core teaching here is that woman is intended to be companion to man and a helpmate in the activities of life. She was never intended to be his slave, his toy, or his antagonist. The Biblical role of a wife is that of a helpmate to work alongside her husband. A noble wife is described by Solomon in the Song of Songs as more precious that rubies. She pledges her respect, her devotion, her cooperation, and her companionship. She has the special task of bearing children and nurturing them, but throughout the marriage relationship mutuality of effort, purpose, and mission are shared. Fundamentally, her pledge is to give herself freely willingly sacrificing her own desires for the benefit of her family.
Today there are many variations of Christian WeddingVows, but the elements that make them Christian Nuptial Commitments include officiating by an ordained minister or priest; reflecting the traditions of the church; and affirming the basic Biblical relationships of husband and wife.
Today, you can find great variety in Christian Special Event Vows; and you can embellish or write your own following the basic principles that make your promises Christian Special Event Vows.
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Fix Your Marriage With Four Rules
Tyranny and oppression mark world history like a plague. Terror, violence, and social abuses are almost commonplace. A lone gunman kills a dozen and wounds over forty unsuspecting people in the name of religion. Hate crimes threaten everyone. Prejudice, discrimination, and reverse discrimination affect us all.
The world is smaller today than ever before. If something happens in Asia, it appears within minutes in our own homes. A murder in Orlando, touches families in Spokane almost instantly. The pressures of oppression and the thirst for freedom meet at our kitchen tables day after day. We are all affected.
How does all of this affect our marriages and homes? Apparently, it has affected thousands of homes as indicated by the over half of first marriages and over two thirds of second marriages ending in divorce.
The Bible teaches a set of dynamic principles to guide husbands and wives in their roles. These have sometimes been distorted or misapplied, however, when properly understood these principles go a long way toward enabling life-long marriages.
Rule A: Husbands and wives are not the same, but in marriage they must share mutually to insure success. Whenever one or the other holds back, both suffer. Whenever one or the other oppresses, both suffer. Only when husband and wife freely give their love, their work, or their lives to each other mutually can they be assured of marital success.
Rule B: Marriages flourish when led by husbands of integrity, industry, and sensitivity. Good leadership lifts the whole family. The husband needs to project a vision of family mission and set the pace toward achieving that dream. With compassion and a listening ear, the husband willingly sacrifices his own welfare for the benefit of his marriage and family and their mutual mission.
This leadership includes obligations to protect his wife and family from all manner of dangers. There are thieves, robbers, gangs, enemies, and evil forces that threaten the family. The husband is charged with the responsibility of protection from all threats.
Rule three: Man is expected to provide sustenance for his wife and family. He is to provide food, clothing, and shelter for his family. Man must be willing to give his best efforts, hard work, and be willing to sacrifice himself for the benefit of his wife and family. This does not mean that wives are exempted from work. It only means that the husband is ultimately responsible. A wife who really helps her husband is a treasure beyond consideration.
Fourth Rule : A wife honors and respects her husband assisting and supporting her husband. She willingly gives herself to her husband to meet his needs and give her family perpetual blessing. At her husband’s side, she stands. She works. She helps him become everything he is capable of becoming. She encourages and lifts up her husband as he strives to provide for her and his family.
In a sense, woman must submit herself to her husband, but notice the word “sub..mit” actually involves giving oneself into the mission of the family. This is not a matter of wills. When the family battles over control, everyone loses.
Subjection and oppression ruin marriages. Dictatorial tyranny destroys. A man who behaves in such a way, cripples his marriage. On the other hand, a husband who loves his wife will listen intently to her and respond with self sacrificing generosity. A wife who truly loves her husband will honor his efforts, encourage and respect him, and stand with him against all the pressures of the world.
Who benefits when husbands diligently practice these core principles of marriage? The husband, the wife, the family, and everyone they touch is blessed by their love.
When a wife stands by her man and yields herself to the needs and mission of the family, the whole family is blessed.
Do you want a marriage that is blessed? Do you want a marriage full of love and understanding? Do you want freedom from oppression and empowered love? Then check out the resources below.
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Conventional Wedding Wording
The music sounds, and heads turn. Down the aisle come the bridesmaids one by one.
The wedding ceremony contains many traditions and formalities. While there are many variations, the wedding ceremony has many common elements. The essentials include pledges and vows. The pledges are what we call the “I dos”, while the vows are the statements verbalized between the bride and groom.
Each attendant makes their way to the front of the assembly and position themselves ladies to the left and men to the right of the Minister.
The procession sounds for the entry of the Bride. She and her Father proceed down the aisle. The entire audience stands and turns to see the Bride enter. As they reach the front, the Bride’s veil is lifted. Father kisses the Bride, and joins the couple’s hands. The Minister asks and Father responds, “I do.” He withdraws to his seat.
The Minister greets the wedding couple, and begins his wedding sermon. “Friends, family, and guests welcome to this sacred event. We have come to witness the joining of Groom’s Name and Bride’s Name in marriage. He reads from Biblical selections, poetry, or other suitable materials. He talks about the nature of marriage and the fundamental commitments between bride and groom. He stresses values of self sacrifice, giving, loyalty, and faithfulness.
Following his wedding sermon; a soloist steps forward to present a vocal solo. The special music enhances the ceremony with special emphasis on the wedding values and motivations.
The Minister asks the groom to make his commitments to God and society. He asks, “Do you in the presence of Almighty God promise to love, honor, and protect Bride’s Name; to be true to her and forsaking all others to keep yourself only onto her as long as you both shall live?” To which the Groom responds, “I do”.
Questions are then directed to the Bride. “Do you in the presence of Almighty God promise to love, honor, and respect Groom’s Name; to be true to him and forsaking all others to keep yourself only onto him as long as you both shall live?” To which the Bride responds, “I do”.
The Minister continues, “Since you declare this to be your intention, will you now repeat your vows to each other.”
Turning to face each other, the couple prepares to repeat their vow. They hold hands and look lovingly into each other’s eyes.
The Groom repeats his vows, “Bride’s Name, I love you. I give you my name, my treasures, my hopes, my life, all that I own and all that I am. I promise to provide for you and protect you. I promise to listen to you, care for you, encourage you, and keep myself only for you. I pledge my faithfulness and my love for the rest of my life. I love you.”
The Bride declares her vows, “Groom’s Name, I love you. I give you my heart, my hopes and dreams, and my life. I promise to honor and respect you as you lead our home. I accept your love and will keep myself only for you for the rest of my life. I love you.”
The wedding ceremony proceeds with exchange of wedding rings, a unity candle ceremony, and other enhancements as planned. The Minister offers a prayer of blessing over the wedding union and marriage. Finally, the Minister declares the couple married and the couple kiss to complete the wedding ceremony.
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Two Magical Words
Are there magic words that have real power more than the illusion? Yes. They are the centerpiece of every wedding. A man speaks and a woman speaks these two magical words and their whole world instantly changes. Have you spoken those two word, “I do”?
Speaking these two words causes an immediate change in the world for all to see and hear. To the unaware, things seem to stay the same; but to the well informed, nothing remains as it was.
As you speak these words, you are forever changed. A man becomes a husband. A woman becomes a wife. The transformation is instantaneous and progressive. You can never be the same as you were again.
How long does all of this to happen? Only as long as it takes to say, “I Do.” Dating ends. Courtship ends. Independence ends. Aloneness ends. Suddenly there is marriage, union of two into one, and completion.
One moment you were free to think only of your own welfare, but the next your own personal interests are subjugated to the interests of your marriage. One moment you could play the field, checkout every girl or guy that walked by; and the next moment you must never glance at another girl or guy in the same way again.
One moment you owned what you owned, and the next moment your partner owns half of everything you own. One moment you are in charge of your life, and the next your partner has a voice in the things you do, the things you say, the choices you make, the work you do, the place you reside, and the life you live. You are not your own. You belong to them.
Mystery, magic, miraculous, and breathtaking are all words that describe the force found in the words “I Do”. Yet, the meaning may still allude us, unless we realize that the magic comes from the hidden power of love.
“I do” what? – might be the most overlooked question answered by couples on their wedding day. Yes, they speak those words, but are they truly understood? Does a man really know what he is committing himself to? Does a woman grasp the full scope of these words? Maybe not, but they will soon find out or face deep personal struggles in the process.
When a man speaks the words “I do”, he is making some very definite promises of things he will do and not do. He becomes immediately obligated to his bride, to family, to friends, to society; to fulfill those promises no matter what. Even more he is entering into a legally binding contract to perform these things under penalty of law.
His pledge of faithfulness goes beyond superficial considerations of sexual promiscuity or the extremes of abandoning his wife for the affections of another. His pledge of faithfulness is one of tunnel vision wherein he refuses to think or consider any other woman than his wife for sexual relations.
The man promises to provide for his wife and family the vital necessities of life including food, shelter, clothing, and emotional support for the marriage to thrive. Yes, his wife can help, but he assumes responsibility for providing. He essentially pledges that he will sacrifice his own needs and interests for the benefit of his wife and family. He promises to listen to his wife and consider her needs above his own.
I have a car before the wedding, and half a car after the wedding. I own a house before the wedding, and half a house after I say “I do.” I possess a large screen TV, a surround sound stereo system, a motorcycle, and a house full of furniture before I repeat my vows; and afterward I own only half of these. My partner owns the rest.
The grooms says, “I promise to protect you from all harm in good times and in bad.” The dangers of the world are very real. Marriage and family often come under attack, but the husband stands as the valiant protector against all such threats whether from outside or from within.
The promises of the woman are similar and yet distinctively different. She pledges to give herself freely intimately to her husband to fulfill his sexual, social, emotional, and personal needs. She too pledges faithfulness and commits herself to intimacy only with her husband.
The bride says, “I will be a faithful companion to you. I will work alongside of you, walk with you, respect and honor you. Good times may come or calamity befall us, but I will always give you my life and my love.”
The promises entailed in the words “I do” go far beyond those mentioned her, and they have a way of deepening and expanding with passage of time and experience. Fundamentally, a man and woman pledge themselves to each other exclusively for every facet of their lives physically, emotionally, socially, economically, and every other way. Indeed, these magical words transform two individuals into one completed person for the rest of their lives. To learn more about the commitments and joys of marriage as well as find vast resources on marriage check out Wedding How. Com or see the resource box below.
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Wedding Vows Composed By You
Your dream sacred moment is just over the horizon. There are so many things you want it to be. Your passion for your partner grows stronger every day. You want your sacred moment to be spectacular – one of a kind lifetime event. One of the ways to make it truly special is by learning how to author your own sacred moment vows.
You may be thinking that your minister already has the sacred moment ceremony locked up. You may feel hesitant to mess things up trying to write your own special day vows or trying to make your sacred moment ceremony special. Relax, couples do it all the time. Ministers are usually quite willing to work with you to insure your special day vows communicate our special personality .
To begin, what should you avoid? As you author your wedding vows, stay away from wordiness. Words should communicate, they should not just string along one word after another after another. No one will appreciate an endless monologue even if it does express your own character .
Bad English can be embarrassing. So avoid awkward wording and phrasing. If your own proper English skills are lacking, get help.
Third, your special day vows should not express strange, unconventional, or wrong concepts of marriage and your lives together.
If all you do is avoid, you will probably not end up expressing your uniqueness in the special ways you would like. It is essential that you take the following steps to actually write your own special day vows and make them special.
To compose your own special day vows, you need to begin with some brainstorming. Work on you lists individually and then collectively. In simple terms, you want to write down in list form the things that are special about your relationship, hopes, dreams, values, and what you share as a couple. This forms what we will call the character list. Just start listing everything that is special about your relationship.
Your fist list identified many qualities or traits shared as a couple, but now you need to make a list of every reason you should get married. These should be your reasons, not somebody else’s. Your reasons for getting married are vital to understanding yourself and your partner.
With your lists in hand and in mind, begin reading several sample wedding vows. Examine them for the ideas they convey, the values, and priorities they express. Make notes to help you remember the ones that speak to you and the ones that you just do not like. It can get overwhelming to study loads of sacred moment ceremonies, but you will quickly see similarities and even repetition.
A professional author, your minister, or a trusted friend proficient in English grammar may be willing to take your notes and lists and compose your wedding vows for you. You have identified the things that are unique about your relationship. You have zeroed in on your reasons for wanting to get married. You have made notes on your likes and dislikes in conventional vows. All that is left is having someone put it together in acceptable form. You still have the right to review, edit, embellish, or approve the end result.
Are you ready? The moment to start composing is here. You already have keen awareness of the values, qualities, and ideas you want to include. You already understand the reasons you intend to marry. You have your notes on many sample vows. It is time to write .
This may seem to be an overwhelming task, but you can fairly quickly author your own special special day vows and express your own uniqueness doing so. Some trial and error may be needed, but relax and enjoy the process. Read your creation aloud. Listen as someone else reads. Keep working on your sacred moment vows until you are confident they express your personality in a meaningful and effective manner.
Your minister should have final approval of your sacred moment vows. It may be difficult to accept his input after doing so much work, but he is there to protect you, guide you, and help you achieve the special day of your dreams.
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Kids and Wedding Vows
Children are always important considerations, but when you decide you want to get married, the Children you already have become even more important.
Children quickly notice when they are excluded left out.
Compelling Youngsters to do things in public can leave deep emotional scars.
When it comes to mixing families, there is no sure formula. Kids and adults have a whole mix of feelings, expectations, and needs.
Children cannot be expected to think or act like adults. Adults should avoid thinking or acting like Kids. It is important for adults to give special consideration to the feelings and needs of Children.
When adults are confident in their own relationships, they are far more effective nurturing family connections with the Youngsters.
Kids do not want to be ignored, overlooked, or abandoned. They look to the adults in their lives to provide security, stability, love, and acceptance.
Prevent problems by building positive relationships with the Youngsters. Help the Youngsters accept the new adults in their lives before wedding pressures develop.
Dysfunctional families result for a lack of consideration, love, and acceptance. Everyone suffers. The aim of every family should be to create an atmosphere where each family member feels accepted, loved, and secure.
Prepare for your wedding by first strengthening the personal relationships. Adults and Children need to feel connected and a wedding can be a great way to deepen and strengthen those bonds.
This is where wedding vows involving Kids comes in.
A few months ago, a couple approached me to perform their wedding for them. The bride had been married previously and an eight year old son named Todd. They were concerned about how the wedding would impact the boy.
Involving Todd in the ceremony was discussed during a wedding planning session and it was decided to pursue the possibilities.
Todd attended the next planning session. He was genuinely excited about the possibility of having a new father and family. He thought it was great that his new parents would include him in their special moment.
There were many options available to include Todd, but the choice that appealed most to all three was creation of special wedding vows involving Children.
Here is the set of wedding vows involving Children:
Bride: I love you my son. I will always love you. I promise that I will provide for you and protect you for the rest of my life. I love you, Todd.
Groom: Todd, I have promised to love your mother, but I now pledge to love you as my son. I promise to provide for you, protect you, and encourage you to become everything you desire.
Todd: I love you Mom and I love you Charles. I know you love me and promise to honor you as my parents and love you as your son.
Celebrate love and family together with your Youngsters. It will go a long way toward launching your family.
Planning Your Wedding Vows Including Youngsters
What do you do if you want to get married, but one or both of you have Kids? The Youngsters may be from prior marriages or other circumstance. The challenge of dealing with Children is always a big concern.
Will the Children resent being omitted from your wedding?
Forcing Kids to do things in public can leave deep emotional scars.
When it comes to mixing families, there is no sure formula. Children and adults have a whole mix of feelings, expectations, and needs.
Begin the process of building appropriate relationships by considering the capabilities, needs, and desires of Children and adults. Youngsters do not have the maturity or experience to deal with adult situations, therefore, adults must be supportive of their emotional needs.
Adults can make the transition to a new family easier by first settling their own feelings and then guiding and supporting the development of Kids and their personal adjustments.
Youngsters want to belong. They need to feel safe, secure, and loved. They do not understand adult relationships and may feel threatened at time.
So, here is my suggestion. During the dating process, include the Youngsters. Keep in mind, that couples who marry with Children become parents of each others Children. It takes time for Youngsters to adjust. It takes work to earn their trust. It takes consideration to help them process their feelings.
Dysfunctional families result for a lack of consideration, love, and acceptance. Everyone suffers. The aim of every family should be to create an atmosphere where each family member feels accepted, loved, and secure.
Caution is better than calamity. When positive relationships are built and the family feels good about one another, everything runs more smoothly including weddings.
So what do you do? Consider wedding vows involving Youngsters.
Susan is a twenty eight year old mother with an eight year old son named Todd. Susan has decided she wants to get married. The adult couple understands that Todd will be affected, but they are hoping it will be a positive experience for them all.
Involving Todd in the ceremony was discussed during a wedding planning session and it was decided to pursue the possibilities.
Todd attended the next planning session. He was genuinely excited about the possibility of having a new father and family. He thought it was great that his new parents would include him in their special moment.
It was decided, that the ceremony itself would be designed around affirming each relationship: bride to groom, mother to child, new father to child, and the whole family together. We began by looking at the traditional vows and pledges. Obviously, they are designed for the bride and groom to express their commitments to each other. They do a pretty good job too. In this case, we decided to add a special set of vows to express the additional roles of parent to child.
Here is the set of wedding vows involving Children:
Bride: Because I love you, Todd, I ask that you accept Charles as my husband and your step father. I promise that I will always love, protect, and cherish you.
Groom: Todd, I have promised to love your mother, but I now pledge to love you as my son. I promise to provide for you, protect you, and encourage you to become everything you desire.
Todd: Mom, Charles, I love you and look to you for my life, my future, and my life. Thank you for being my parents.
Kids are important, and while the specifics may vary, including them in your wedding should be a wonderful celebration of family love.
